Thursday, March 29, 2012

Celebrating April

March is nearly over. Women's History Month is almost history. For the past 28 days, we've been deluged with stories of valiant women, women who Made a Difference, from Joan of Arc to Lady Gaga. It is always edifying to read about these role models. Where would we be without women? Answer (Biology 101): we wouldn't.

But come April 1st, we will ruminate about the fairer sex no more because it's National Poetry Month! Time to dust off our Keats and Yeats, time to glory in the poetic stylings of Eminem. I will dive headlong into the world of verse, even composing my shopping lists in iambic pentameter. Until it all comes to a screeching halt in May, when we take up the torch of  the Egg, Flowers and Asthma and Allergy Awareness (and those allergic to Eggs and Flowers). Frittatas! Pansies! Inhalers! So much to celebrate!

Since it's clear that just about anyone can laud just about anything anytime, I've decided to try my hand at this game. Has anyone yet christened April "Fools in the Rain" Month? A span of time when fools shed all reason (and most of their clothes) to dance in the often cool and windy storms of the season? Done! April is also Very Taxing Month, a span of time when we shed all our money and send it, with love and kisses, to Uncle Sam, while we impatiently endure Fools in the Rain.

But why stop here? Doesn't it make sense to christen the fourth month National Ape (Ape-ril--get it?) Awareness Month? I don't know about you, but I am rarely aware of the apes in my midst, unless I am in the nosebleed seats at an Eagles game. Let's open the zoo gates to let us all in, gratis, and ponder the majesty of our scary and hairy cousins! April can also be coined Rilly (April-ly--get it?) Awesome Month, when our linguistically challenged pals can ooh and aah over the buds and blossoms, deeming them all Rilly Awesome (along with their ipads, Mt. Everest and Cheez Whiz).

April 18th is Daffy Duck's birthday, but what about Garfield and Snoopy and Rush Limbaugh? These cartoon characters deserve their own special days, don't you think?

April 22nd marks Earth Day, which begs the question--what of Jupiter Day? Saturn Month? Former Planet Pluto Week? Let's be fair here!
I hereby declare April 10th Spam Day, when we open those unmistakable oblong cans of food-like product, sit down at the computer and email all our friends about Nigerian royalty and bank deposits.

April 26th? My Husband’s Birthday, a day when all of you with spouses named Steve Seyfried who were born in 1949 can make merry.

April, once a humdrum bridge between nasty March and lovely May, can now be a hotbed of celebratory activity! Go on, pick a day and give it a focus! And let me know when you decide it’s National Euphonium Day. I love a good euphonium. Let's party!

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