Mother Nature Issues Her Final Warning

Me in Kailua, Hawaii in 2011

Oahu, Hawaii, where my sister Carolyn has lived since 2012, has traditionally been the kind of place where meteorologists phone in the exact same forecast (“sunny and pleasant”) on repeat 24/7, 365 days/year. In recent weeks, though, Mom Nature has unleashed record rainstorms and flooding and misery there, and at this writing she hasn’t let up yet. This on top of the deadly wildfire that wreaked havoc on Maui just two years ago.

Needless to say, I have my plane ticket to Honolulu, to celebrate C’s 65th birthday next month. I check the weather obsessively, which is ridiculous this far out. I read Hawaii tourism updates, which currently say things like: many roads are still impassable, sunrise tours to Haleakala cancelled, ocean too dangerous to swim—followed by: “But don’t let that stop you from visiting beautiful Hawaii!” (written in tone of true desperation). 

I’ve never lived in a tropical clime. I count on lousy weather throughout the year, from winter ice storms (Atlanta) and blizzards (Philly and Boston), to heat and possible hurricanes (Delaware shore in August). As I watch my energizer bunny hubby Steve shovel the driveway yet again, or venture out in dangerous lighting storms to buy coffee (because, face it, life has to be worth living, which requires caffeine), I contemplate a time when yours truly might be called upon to battle inclement weather. After contemplating this for about 30 seconds, I decide to reject this possibility. 

 

But if I were to go it alone at some point, the right climate would be extremely important to me. And while I pay lip service to enjoying the glories of autumn leaves and sun glistening on snow, in reality I’m only truly happy with clear skies and 75 degrees.

 

But where IS that paradise? It’s getting harder to pinpoint. Blistering winter temps in San Francisco! Polar vortex—in southern Texas! Europe’s summers are now sweltering, parts of Asia are seeing record-setting monsoons. The UN issued a statement this week, saying our planet is being pushed to its limits for human habitation. That seems like an understatement—especially with the rapid, gleeful dismantling of any and all regulations aimed at protecting the environment. Scary, scary stuff…though apparently not to our leaders, most of whom are well into middle age and beyond (won’t affect us, we’ll be dead! Is their motto) They are behaving like heedless revelers who totally trash the party location, then leave the mess behind. 

 

I’m a mom, and I so identify with Mother Nature right now. If the powers that be choose to do nothing, well then, it’s time for some (very) Tough Love! Let’s send the oil company execs to deal with the drought in Sub-Saharan Africa! Let’s make our hapless Congresspersons fight the West Coast wildfires themselves! In other words, it’s time for the kids to start doing some chores around here. Ma Nature is fed up. 

 

No pizza or video games until this planet is PERFECT, you hear? Now get a move on!