D.I.Y. Holiday

  

Yeah, yeah, Independence Day, blah, blah

Don’t know about you, but I’m a tad irked that there are only a few holidays on the calendar specifically to celebrate ME. There’s my birthday (December 22, for those who like to plan their cards and gifts to me ahead of time), Mother’s Day/Grandparents Day, and I guess you could throw in my wedding anniversary, though I have to share that one with Steve. When, I ask, is Freelance Writer’s Day? Retired Church Worker Day? Children’s Theatre Veteran’s Day? I plod through the year, most often totally neglected.

 

But no more!! I just read the most inspiring and empowering news! It is now a thing to Create My Own Holiday! This stellar 24-hour span can be designed to my personal specifications, but also (very important), it can be added to official holiday directories. It can be covered by media outlets! Imagine the thrill of knowing that people around the country (or even, the globe) are getting the day off work, or at least exchanging festive greetings, in honor of some random thing I cooked up.

 

The article I read offers this sage advice: “Avoid dates that are associated with bigger holidays or other special occasions.” Well, that certainly makes common sense! It’s likely, for example, that the notoriety around July 4^th (marking our independence from England, a silly thing) might conceivably overshadow my concept of, say, The Fourth of July as “National Non-Bike Riders Day” (celebrants would defiantly WALK or DRIVE THEIR CARS everywhere, perhaps tooting those ridiculous bicycle horns festooned with streamers). I can see the T-shirts now-- a picture of a Schwinn with a big red line crossing it out. Now THAT'S a snappy logo!

 

Other must-to-avoid dates would include, I suppose, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Thanksgiving Day. But a quick glance at any of the big holiday calendars tells me that they are also chock-a-block with frivolous commemorations of things like “National Watermelon Day” “World Smile Day” and “Hoodie Hoo Day” (a random February day when you’re supposed to call people up and say “Hoodie Hoo!” to them. As Dave Barry would put it, I’m not making this up.) 

 

So, it might be tough to find a blank spot on which to scribble the addition of my Very Special Holiday. Assuming I can snag one, I would next select my theme, send out a press release, and get busy contacting CNN, Fox, and The Weather Channel, all of whom would be delighted to help spread the word, I’ve no doubt. After all, we’re so sick and tired of gloomy doomy news, right? What better way to perk up the population than decreeing next Monday to be “Hug a Hamster Day”? Our furry little rodent friends would enjoy it also (do caution your children not to squeeze too hard, of course!) 

Easy does it there!

At the moment, my top two contenders are: “Take Your Favorite Spiritual Humor Writer to Lunch Day” and (cutting to the chase), “Elise Seyfried Day.” 

 

What do you think? Vote early and often, my friends!!