The Influencer

 

Trending influencer Elise @ dinner @

                                       Moosewood Restaurant, Ithaca NY

Christiano Ronaldo and Kylie Jenner move over.

 

There’s a new influencer in town (it's me!!!!)

 

As a long-time blogger, my burning question has been: how the heck do people make money doing this stuff? I mean, after 580 posts, “Working Title” ain’t exactly “working” for me. I am delighted to write these mini-essays and offer them to friends for free, but wouldn’t it be even MORE delightful to hear the little “ca-ching” sound when my missives are read? I think so!!

 

The deal seems to be, that I need to mention lots of products, good and services, in my social media offerings. Theoretically readers, dazzled by my fame, will automatically patronize/purchase whatever it is I’m touting, and it’s a financial win-win all around (ooh, except for the poor fans who are actually out some hard-earned moolah. But no matter!)

 

And so, with all the fervor of a newbie, I announce my Influencer Debut!! You can look forward to a future of endless product placements and links aplenty, and to heck with a coherent narrative or humorous point! 

 

Welcome to my curated world of wonder, gang. As I know you hang on my every written word, it’s frankly amazing you’ve survived thus far, with no guidance whatsoever concerning the latest popular items and destinations. But fear not, I’m about to change everything!

 

Let’s begin in my shabby-chic,1960’s inspired kitchen (think Sears, not IKEA.) It’s 5 AM, and I’m post-menopausal, so sleepytime is over. I have already consumed my first mug of Starbucks in bed (thank you, trophy husband Steve!) and I’m now rummaging in the fridge for breakfast: yogurt, berries and granola. After this hearty meal, it’s off to my capacious closet to choose my wardrobe du jour! I tend to favor sale items from LOFT, though occasionally I’ll dabble in Modcloth and Old Navy. Whatever I select, you can be sure it’s totally on trend! 

 

My WFH day commences!! Stylish silver Macbook Pro fired up, I tackle the first of several writing assignments. Oh, I know they say handwriting is better for creativity, and I do try, using my gorgeous pen sourced from wood found in an Irish bog. Alas, I cannot read my chicken scratch, so I head straight back to the keyboard.

 

Lunchtime! I don’t as a rule eat lunch, but an influencer cannot afford to miss an opportunity to suggest yummy comestibles! If I DID eat at midday, I might very well select cheese and charcuterie, with a fine baguette from Panera. 

When my workday ends, I might head to the gym, or yoga class. But who wants to sweat after a full day of influencing? So I proceed from kitchen to couch, and immerse myself in whatever is bingeable on Netflix, Hulu or HBO. 

 

Before I slumber, I haul out my array of beautifying lotions and potions, which will work their magic during the midnight hour. How relaxing, knowing my face cream is funding my retirement!!

 

Good night, all! Hope I’ve influenced you enough today (ca-ching!)

Photo by Gerd Altmann for Pixabay