ProcrastiNation

If I spoke Spanish (which I don’t) my favorite word would be mañana (tomorrow). I put everything, and I do mean everything, off until later—much, much later. This goes for planning Confirmation class and writing children’s sermons (which I’ve been known to do on the way to church), also grocery shopping  (I put it off till the only edible in the refrigerator is ketchup) and laundry (there’s a reason we own 312 towels). I’ve never gone to the doctor or dentist when I should—the way I figure it, no news is good news! The final day to register for a class or program without penalty is the day I do—often at 11:59 PM. And sometimes, I’ll admit, I have to pay the penalty—which is galling, but clearly not galling enough for me to change my ways. 

 You see, I live in the ProcrastiNation, and in our family I have a fair amount of company. The Seyfried motto: It’ll wait! Steve can write an entire play in a couple of days, which is good because the first performance is usually only a week away. Sheridan stays in bed until 6:40 and can still catch a 6:47 train (I swear to God, and this includes getting fully dressed and eating something).  Evan has vastly improved, thanks to the Naval Academy, but I still remember the quarter-long high school Biology project done in three days (this involved various types of bread and how fast they  grew mold, so it was quite the challenge!) Back in the years of her baking business, Rose mastered sticking the hot cookies in the freezer so they cooled fast enough to wrap for a customer who needed them a half-hour earlier. And what can I say about PJ? He is the president of the ProcrastiNation, a man who never orders replacement contact lenses until the last pair (the pair he’s wearing) has been in for weeks. Julie is a chip off the Seyfried block, as her fish swims in a bowl full of murk and her room gets so messy she has to sleep upstairs on the sofa.  

We get it all done, always—eventually. Meanwhile, we’re addicted to the adrenaline rush of delay, the extra spice those zero-hour saves give to life. Let others start the project on time, let others plan ahead. Promptness is for wimps. We need to bump up against the absolute deadline to get the juices flowing!  

I read about fellow bloggers who map out their posts far in advance, who know what they will be writing about next week, even next month.  Not me—I put off the whole project until, in a panic, I have to quickly come up with a topic upon which to expound, 500 words worth. So here I sit, telling the tale of our tardiness, as all around me my neglected household chores scream for attention. “Mañana!” I yell back to the dusty furniture and dish-clogged sink. Whatever it is, it’ll wait!

PJ will order contacts tomorrow. You have a problem with that?