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| Our modest little tree! (just kidding) |
It’s still the third week of November, Mr. Turkey has yet to be cooked and carved, yet all around us our culture is madly prepping for that Giant Jingle Ball o’ Fun. I’d say all this hoo-ha was a natural reaction to a nearly two year pandemic, but the Yuletide Creep Up has been gradually occurring for years. Goblins are immediately replaced in stores by Santa, like the back-to-school supplies nudge the beach toys off the shelves by mid-July (does anyone else find that incredibly depressing?)
What’s the big hurry, folks? Does a large segment of the population really clamor to hear “Santa Baby” four times an hour on B-101 Radio’s all-Christmas playlist beginning in late October? Why enjoy a walk in the great outdoors admiring the turning autumn leaves when we can be in our family rooms, glued to the 65 Hallmark Christmas movies currently in rotation? Spoiler alert: in the denouement of EVERY SINGLE PLOTLINE, Candace Cameron Bure quits her high powered job as a children’s book author in the city, to remain in snow-covered Holidaysville with the hunky widowed handyman, his two adorable motherless moppets, and their dog, who is a Lassie clone.
I’ll be 65 next month, and believe me, time is flying by fast enough as it is. I don’t need all the year’s special times zooming past me at warp speed, a frantic mashup of Valentines and July 4th fireworks and New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. I actually want to slow down and enjoy the rollout of the months, the change of seasons. By Labor Day, it seems, those same old TV commercials where those annoying carolers are giving out lottery tickets as presents (whoopie!) have started running. 2022 calendars and daytimers have been out since early early 2021. How many people fill in their hair and dental appointments more than a year in advance? We could be hit by an asteroid tomorrow, for Pete’s sake! And then wouldn’t we feel foolish to have planned our future?
As for the holiday season approaching, I do hear of people who keep things simple, and enjoy a relaxed Christmas. Often they suggest taking the whole extended family on a round-the-world cruise in lieu of gift-giving. Why didn’t I think of that? I’ve been shedding cumbersome customs for decades. No greeting cards are mailed off anymore, nor cookies baked. Yet still I feel super-frazzled, especially when I dart into CVS for shampoo, and am serenaded over the PA system by the late Bing Crosby. The tree stands are already popping up everywhere, including the parking lot of the local swim club, which just closed for the season yesterday. Btw, I think it’s a clever scheme, having people buy live trees seven weeks before Christmas, which will be dead as doornails well before Christmas Eve, thus necessitating the purchase of second trees.
Lest you think I’m an old grump, I do want to wish you and your family a very happy St. Patrick’s Day! Here before we know it!
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