Pacing Myself

Some of my humor pieces online

Other pieces in print publications

On any given Thursday (my semi-sacred writing day), I am scribbling away on some project or three. I do quite a bit of writing for Lutheran and other spiritually focused publications. Additionally, I’ve been writing a lot of what I like to call “humor” (humor being a very subjective thing; you might not call my stuff “humor” at all), as well as various and sundry op-eds, essays on mental health, parenting articles, etc. It’s a fun juggling act, though like all jugglers, I do drop things here and there (prepositions, adverbs, gerunds). I pride myself on keeping the different assignments pretty straight, though I did have a nightmare once about accidentally sending a darkly satirical essay to the editor at the sunny and decidedly un-satirical Chicken Soup for the Soul. 

This week’s writing sesh was particularly eclectic. I began the day penning “The Real Housewives of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” for possible submission to McSweeney’s (the Holy Grail for humor writers). I immediately launched into a 500 word commissioned essay for the Lutheran Gather magazine, about a gentleman in Japan who built a telephone booth with a disconnected phone in it, for people to “call” their ancestors. As I was wrapping up that draft, a request was posted online from the editor at The Independent, for pitches about the hot new romance between Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson. I jumped on that one, as I’ve written two other pieces for that publication, and the pay is good. 

I am also writing one blog post every day in November, and had just written the post for the day. Too much? Yes! At that point, I was perilously close to writing a quick take about Kim Kardashian and Fred Rogers, and their amazing “wind telephone.” To my relief, the Independent editor saved me from myself—she had accepted a pitch from another writer (my good friend Ellen, coincidentally), moments before mine came in. So no Tale of Two Celebs for me, this week at least. 

As I look ahead, even as far ahead as June 2022, I can see one pitfall in retirement from my full-time church job. I currently have precious little time to write and submit during the week, except for Thursdays. When I retire, writing (and probably writing a wide variety of stuff) can, and no doubt will, happen every single day. With no guard rails, I risk crashing, totally burned out (I’m not one to pace myself, in case you haven’t noticed). And I truly want writing to continue to be a joyous process for me and not become a dreaded chore. 

So here’s the plan: 

Monday-Friday: write a MAXIMUM of 40 hours. 

Saturday: write no longer than dawn to dusk. 

Sunday: Day of Rest! Two essays at the absolute most! 

With this new, very relaxed schedule, I can enjoy a leisurely retirement, with time for fun activities like proofreading, editing, and revising my humorous, religious, parenting, and mental health pieces!

 MUCH better. Everything in moderation, am I right?

It's always writing time somewhere!