Reason #1001 why I am not Saint Paul:
“Am I now
seeking human approval, or God’s approval? Or am I trying to please people? If
I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” –Galatians 1:10
But Saint P.!!
Why can I not seek both? I realize in your circumstances that you had to give
the early churches a little dose of tough love, when they were going off the
rails and straying from Jesus’ teaching. Had you been too soft on them,
Christianity might well have died out. But why do I have to be an old meanie
like you? (Oh, I’m sorry! I meant to say, an old sweetie like you! Am I
forgiven?)
All my
life, I have been searching for complete and universal acceptance and approval.
I only acted out when I was with my immediate family, and even then my heartfelt
apologies were quick to follow any nastiness to sisters or parents. When friends
feuded, I always took sides—with each of them. Which I think kind of cancelled
everything out, especially when Friend #1 and Friend #2 were in the same room
with me, each demanding I voice my opinion.
As a
parent, I may have SAID, “I’m your mother, not your friend!” and actually
followed through with some consequences for misbehavior, but deep down I was
thinking, “I’m your mother, not just your friend—I’m your BEST friend.” Never
mind that during the delightful middle school years, it was clear that I was
mama non grata 90% of the time. I remember (still with a twinge) when easy
going Sheridan went away to music camp in 8th grade, and came home a
sullen sad sack. I found a letter he was penning to a girl he’d met there,
telling her how dreadful Steve and I were. I think I cried for a week, by which
point Sher had completely forgotten about both letter and girl.
Church
life is tricky, because everyone is so invested in their stake in it. Either
our youth are never in church (my fault) or the kids are doing too much in church
(mea culpa). Some people love the mission trips I lead, others criticize
them to the max. And very often, I hear about these dissenters second hand, “I’ve
heard some people say…etc.” Who are these “people”? I spend my hours in worship
scanning the crowd for possible culprits. But if I ever found out who was
dissing me? I would probably just do my best to butter them up (the amount of
buttering up I do must account for the extra ten pounds I’m lugging around.)
So,
Paul-formerly-known-as-Saul, what’s your advice for me? I only want to serve
the Lord, and at the same time keep my shiny Miss Congeniality crown. Is this possible?
Please tell me I can be a People Pleasing Christian! Without, of course,
sacrificing my ideals or personal integrity!
Whichever
way you answer, dear Paul, I agree with you!
At a speaking gig--just people pleasing away! |
Brilliant insight as always. I am going to miss your daily blog very much when Nov. is over. Thank you for all of your work, insight, creativity, honesty and humor. "Working Title" is a great way to start the day!! Holly
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