For the longest time in our humble abode, what you saw was
what you got. We clung to the originals of everything, from cabinetry to paint
jobs to sump pumps, largely because we could ill afford to upgrade. Any spare
change we came into, immediately flowed back out again in the form of summer
camp tuition and Pampers and enough boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios to stock Sam’s
Club for the foreseeable future. Someday, we vowed, we would have the means to
tackle the Big Projects that would make our house a showplace (or at least less
of a train wreck).
Well, 30 years down the road, “someday” is finally here on
Apel Avenue. While we no doubt should be socking away the nickels and dimes for
our “retirement,” (ho ho), there are certain things that have been crying out
to be done around the house and yard, and we just want them (the things) all to
stop crying out. It’s very annoying. Therefore, in the past several months, we
have:
Replaced our side door
Replaced our sliding patio door
Gotten a new roof
Filled in the big sinkhole in the back yard
Things are definitely looking spiffier, but as usual, the
repairs shine a glaring spotlight on the un-improved areas that remain, so our
work is cut out for us.
In that same “can do” spirit, I have decided to tackle my
self-improvement issues as well. I have a stack of scripts for mammogram, blood
work, colonoscopy, etc. One by one, these delightful activities are being put
on my calendar. I recently returned to my dentist after lo these many moons,
and got a cracked tooth fixed. Much more dental work looms, but it’s a start.
Concerned friends are always looking at my freckled Irish skin and reminding me
to get it “checked out”—apparently that’s a thing these days? OK, OK people! I
will write “dermatologist” on my list soon.
Perhaps the most important thing I am addressing again is
my mental health. I am 1000% better than I was 12 years ago, and my
psychiatrist has been able to lower my doses of meds, but that doesn’t mean I
haven’t needed regular tune ups. And so this afternoon, urged on by my loving
daughter Rose, I am seeing a new therapist for the first time. I am quite
nervous, and do not look forward to baring my soul yet again. But I
realize it is as important for my brain, as any of our long-deferred projects
is for the well-being of our house. I have been “managing,” just as we used to “manage”
by jiggling our old broken door handle until it worked. But there is joy in
being able to easily open that new door now. And I believe there will also be
joy for me in opening the door of my mind and heart, as I go back into therapy.
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