Prime Time

May I have a moment to vent? Thank you!

The solitary candle, yearning for its mate

Amazon just completely messed up my latest order. I had ordered two sets of candles and candleholders as gifts. Simple, right? Here’s what arrived on my doorstep: one single candle, and a hideous pair of frosted glass I-don’t-know-what-they-ares. They are too big to hold candles, they can’t be for plants because there are no holes for drainage—I am stumped. Meanwhile, the event for which they were purchased arrived…and I had to go out to an actual store to buy something else!!! Is that not the most outrageous thing you ever heard?

Seriously, though, I am spoiled rotten with Amazon Prime. Time was, I (always reluctantly) drove over to the mall to buy things—towels, clothing, makeup. No more! I cannot tell you the last time I was in Macy’s (and I think there are a lot of me’s, judging by the closures of so many department stores lately.) Nowadays, if I can Google it, I can find it—and cheaper than it would have been in any store, with free shipping very often. Only rarely does my online superstore fail to satisfy my buying needs. Same holds true for other companies with websites.

In the past, I wasn’t a big returner at all. I would uncomplainingly eat well done steaks in restaurants (I prefer rare), and make do with shoes bought a size too small, because I just didn’t want to make a fuss. But now? Now I never hesitate to send things back if I’m not 100% thrilled. In today’s competitive retail climate, I’ve learned, if I make a mistake, it’s never my fault! I absentmindedly ordered the wrong size bedsheets for our bed (Full, which would fit a bed we haven’t had in 15 years, instead of Queen, which fit the bed we actually have). Immediately upon receipt I realized my error, and began the exchange process. Free returns and replacement! Plus a $20 gift card for a future purchase, to thank me for my trouble. And here I thought I was the one causing trouble for them! Silly me!

The only thing I still do consistently in person is food shop. I don’t enjoy the checkout lines, but otherwise I do like selecting my own meat and produce. So I’m not a fan of sites such as Blue Apron (they deliver every ingredient for a meal, all completely prepped). I tell you, some people are just plain lazy!

...but not for me

In theory, all this shopping time saved equals lots more time freed up for other activities, but that isn’t how it works here in Seyfriedland. Like the money we were sure we would save once all five kids were out of diapers, these extra hours evaporate like a dream.

I realize I’ve sacrificed human interaction for convenience, and that’s a shame. I know! Next time I’m sending back a product I bought in error, I will call the customer service line and speak with an actual person! Problem solved!