No Big Hurry

Scholarly pursuits with Grandpa Berrigan

As a child, I was always in a big hurry to achieve milestones. I went into first grade before I turned five. Now granted, that wasn’t exactly my call, but it was A-OK with me. I had already taught myself to read by studying the Bible of the Cunningham home (TV Guide), plus there was no kindergarten in the area, so why not?  Onward I rocketed through my education, graduating from high school at 17. I got my driver’s license as soon as I could (age 15 in Georgia), but for years I was a pretty poor driver (I recall one day somehow driving up and onto a concrete divider in a McDonald’s parking lot). I was just 20 getting married, and though we didn’t start having kids right away, once we did, we had our five within 10 years.

As a young mother, it was tempting to the participate in the Parenting Olympics, listening to other proud mamas humble bragging about their child’s insanely early walking, talking, potty training, and Suzuki music lessons. But I soon learned that my offspring had rhythms and schedules of their own, and refused to be rushed. While Patrick was a nine-month-old walker, the other four became mobile at—or even later than—the “average” ages. While quite musical now, no one was a prodigy; Sher took up the violin in third grade; Evan began piano lessons in fifth. Our kids all became readers right around the time most of their peers did. I was glad there was kindergarten first for the Seyfried brood—and if any of the kids had a birthday near the school district cutoff age, they waited until the following September to begin classes.

My early walker! Huge advantage at Millersville! Not!!

In the driving department, Sheridan and Ya-Jhu were in no big hurry to get behind the wheel. At the time of their wedding, neither of them had a license. They very skillfully used public transportation wherever they could, so it was not a huge deal until Aiden was born. With a baby to cart around, it was finally time to learn to drive. Sher studied and practiced and got his license on the first try—as did Yaj a little while later. Now, they are both fine drivers, and you’d never know that they hadn’t achieved auto-mobility in their mid-teens.

I am delighted to see that, as parents, my oldest and his wife do not push their two kids to do anything until they are ready. They understand the value of a reasonable pace in life. I do not get an A+ in my neighborhood book club because I could read the time and channel of As the World Turns in a magazine at age four. Aiden and Peter will read, and take up an instrument, and play a sport, when it’s the right time for them.

So as I watch my wonderful grandsons take their time discovering their world, I remind myself: that is a very good thing--after all, there really is no big hurry.