Tarnished Arches

 

photo by Polina Tankilevich on Pexels

You can’t go home again.

You never step into the same river twice.

To these aphorisms, I add:

When you eat fast food, after a long time not eating it, you soon realize why you stopped eating fast food.

I guess that’s a bit long for an aphorism, but you get my point.

 

Sher, Ya-Jhu and Dimitri have been in California this week—Sher for a recording session, Yaj for the world premiere of her piano trio, and Dimitri for his conducting debut with the San Francisco Symphony (just kidding about that one; our grandbaby is advanced, all right, but not quite THAT advanced.) Anyhoo, we had the older boys Friday night, and I had the genius idea to get Mickey D’s for dinner. Needless to say, those poor lads were ecstatic. What a treat, after their regular, ho-hum diet of linguine with pesto, roasted duck breast, lobster and sushi! 

 

And indeed, they were thrilled opening those little boxes of McNuggets and chomping on those famous fries. I pretended to share their enthusiasm, as I attempted to enjoy my McDouble (which is relatively new to the menu. The difference between it and a double cheeseburger is: one less slice of cheese. Bold choice, Chef! ) My review? Unfortunately: yuck.

 

Part of the problem was picking up the meal, and then ferrying it home to consume. Fast food is at its most edible during the three-to-five minute window after it’s prepared. It took eight minutes to get home, by which time everything was cold. Microwaving it only added “rubbery” to its other qualities (greasy, salty). And I definitely noticed that the food sizes have shrunk, while the prices have not. I feel silly complaining, because larger burgers would NOT have solved the deliciousness issue. But gang, this not-such-a-feast for four was more than $30, with no sodas! 

 

I wasn’t always such a McHater. In college in Atlanta, I was managing on caffeine alone, driving into the city for an early morning class. By the time I headed home around 1 PM, I was starving, and rarely missed stopping at McDonald’s, right on my route. And during our years on the road touring with children’s theater, Steve and I regularly ate at Wendy’s, Pizza Hut--even Arthur Treacher’s Fish and Chips! The price was right, and often in those tiny towns, Taco Bell beat the only other option (the 7-11).

 

But in the decades since, I’ve cooked dinner for my gang nearly every night. Even using luxe ingredients at times, I have saved tons of money (saved our bodies from tons of additives too). And clearly my taste buds have evolved to the point that I can no longer stomach KFC or Burger King. 

 

Obviously, Aiden and Peter do not share this aversion. So, I imagine we will pass through those golden arches again, and, for my grandsons, it will always be cause for celebration.

 

Do you think they’ll notice if I hide my Beef Wellington in a Big Mac wrapper?

Little Aiden blissfully awaiting his chicken nuggets