A Very Hallmark Holiday Special: Love in the Card Store

Image by Mike Petrucci on Unsplash

SETTING: A Hallmark Card Store, Any Little Town, USA

 

CHARACTERS: CASHIER, HOLLY CHRISTMAN, BRENT MCBRAWN

 

CASHIER: Welcome to Hallmark! May I help you find something?

HOLLY: Yes. Can you help me find the innocent little girl deep inside? I lost her when I became CFO of an unnamed corporation in the Big City.

CASHIER: I’ll see if we have any in stock.

HOLLY: Thank you! I’m only here in this podunk burg to clean out my dear dead Grandpa’s house. 

CASHIER: Was your Grandpa the one who lived in the split-level next door to Brent McBrawn?

HOLLY: Don't think so. It’s a rancher.

CASHIER: Not a rancher. Brent McBrawn is a lumberjack.

HOLLY: I meant—rancher, a one story.

CASHIER: I think all the ladies in town have a story about Brent! I have one myself!

BRENT (enters): Hey, hey, who’s talking about me now?

CASHIER: Hello there, Brent! If I’d known you were coming in, I would have dusted the Yankee Candle display!

BRENT: No worries! I’m just here for a holiday card, some holiday wrapping—and a holiday bow, I guess.

HOLLY: (to CASHIER) Isn’t this where you introduce us?

CASHIER: Not until you both grab the last roll of ribbon! I’ll say, “Whoa! No fighting in the store!”

HOLLY: Then what do I say?

CASHIER: You say, “That’s just something we successful big city folk do. When we see what we want, we go for it!”

BRENT: And then I say, “Speaking of seeing what we want, are you free for a peppermint mocha at St. Nick’s Café?”

CASHIER: Yes!

BRENT: (to CASHIER) I was talking to her (points to HOLLY).

CASHIER: Oh.

BRENT: (to HOLLY) Let’s head over to the ribbon aisle and have our meet-cute!

HOLLY: Who are you buying a holiday card and gift for?

BRENT: My old teacher, Mr. Bunyan, from Lumberjack School. He’s just lost without an axe to grind these days! So I buy him a small figurine or other Hallmark collectible. Cheers him right up!

HOLLY: That’s very thoughtful!! Beneath that ruggedly handsome, plaid shirted exterior, you’re really an old softy!

BRENT: Must be all the holiday cookies I’ve been eating. I need to get back to log splitting.

HOLLY: Could you…could you teach me the ways of the forest?

CASHIER: But what about your high-powered career as a CFO in the Big City?

HOLLY: I’ve spontaneously decided to quit and live in Grandpa’s old house. I love ranchers.

BRENT: I’m not a rancher. I’m a lumberjack. Could you possibly learn to love me?

HOLLY: I already do! Let’s finish our shopping and stroll arm in arm in the newly falling snow to St. Nick’s Café!

BRENT: It’s a date! But wait—I don’t even know your name!

HOLLY: Holly Christman.

BRENT: Naturally! (to CASHIER) Where is your display of Hallmark collectibles?

CASHIER: Right over there.

BRENT: I’ll take…(looks at HOLLY) two.

HOLLY: Oh, Brent! 

BRENT: Oh, Holly!

CASHIER: Do you have a Rewards card?

(they all laugh)

THE END