Honestly?

This was Take #312 of the Xmas photo that year. You can't hear my "Smile, dammit!"

It has not escaped my notice that I, along with the preponderance of my online friends, live either: a) perfect lives with our perfect families OR b) soap opera-like existences, replete with every manner of calamity. I am certainly guilty of doing a little sprucing up of my personal story now and again. Who really needs to know the last time I vacuumed? I don’t remember that myself! (Ya-jhu has a Roomba, and wields it often on all our carpeted surfaces, so I’m off the hook for that hated chore). And I’ve been known to gloss over embarrassing moments, while polishing up achievements. 

I belong to a humongous Facebook group called “Grown and Flown Parents” (at 200,000 members plus, it could be its own mid-size city at this point). The postings run the gamut as you can imagine, but way too many are along the lines of, “Advice please! My 12 year old daughter is about to graduate from high school. 6.9 GPA, valedictorian all four years, captain of every sport imaginable. She is weighing offers from every Ivy, all full rides. I don’t have a question after all, just wanted to brag!” Too many others paint their husbands (yes, it’s 95% women sharing) as either clueless doofuses, or actually abusive. These usually start with, “Am I overreacting?” and then proceed to describe totally unacceptable behavior. So I’m usually either groaning about Patty Perfection on the one hand, or feeling an urge to dial 911 on the other.

Saturday morning, however, was a breath of fresh air. One brave (and very funny) mom posted that her 16 year old son, who has been acting “like a total jerk” lately, took her car (he’s a lousy driver) to Taco Bell, where he bought himself a meal. Upon his return home, son continued to give mom grief, until she cracked, grabbed the bag of burritos from him, opened the front door and threw the bag up in a tree. She concluded, “Happy to share more mothering tips!” 

When I stopped laughing, I noticed the many responses—all equally candid, most equally hilarious. My favorite was the mom who ended lengthy bickering by her kids over the last donut in the box by cramming the whole donut in her mouth, and saying (through a mouth full of crumbs) “Problem solved!” 

It brought me back to those crazy days with all five kids living at home, and some of my less than stellar mommy moments. One day after church an older lady sweetly complimented me on my children’s good behavior in the pew. I answered, “Someday I’m going to make a video of our household, 10 minutes before we leave for service. The reason they’re all quiet is that they’ve screamed themselves hoarse!” 

And I guess that’s my message today. We are yearning for authenticity, in a world that seems more fake every day, more sanitized and more airbrushed. So, let’s be honest, OK? I think it’ll do us all good!

You go first.

                        Ah, those easy bedtimes and cozy trips to dreamland! Surely we had one or two?