Promptly

Pride goeth before a fall. And boy was I proud of my 15 consecutive 500-word blog posts/essays! The well of inspiration had not gone dry. I was cooking along, heading down hill past the halfway point of my challenge. When—screech!!! My tires blew, and I skidded to a halt by the roadside. I have spent the last hour writing gibberish, marveling at the efficiency of the delete key (I remember the days of whiteout, when I would dribble the gloppy white stuff on my mistakes, let it dry, then type over it. The result was always horrible; it was crystal clear that I had goofed, where I had goofed, how often I had goofed. But now!! I can make false starts to beat the band!) The only thing holding me back from holding back is my self-imposed midnight daily deadline. I have made it so far (though one recent night I hit “publish” at 11:55 PM—technically the same day, no?) But currently my Muse is off at Acme getting her free Thanksgiving turkey, so it is left to me to inspire myself. I am a veteran of many a “writing prompt,” and often find them very helpful (I have built several of this month’s essays on the list my friend Robin sent me). But tonight, as the blank computer screen mocks me, I have decided to come up with my own list of writing prompts. Feel free to share these with the scribes in YOUR lives!

Please! Spare me!

*You are a peanut, about to be roasted, salted and eaten. Describe your feelings.

*Recall a time when you were a would-be serial killer.

*Three words: I Love Lucy.

*Cleaning out the moldy food in your refrigerator

* You are starting a new religion based on automobile worship. What is your theology?

* Spam (either kind)

* Write a letter to your favorite pre-Raphaelite painter, introducing him/her to your favorite Baroque composer and your favorite Beat Generation writer. Invite them all to brunch!

* The color puce

* Record your dreams for five nights, writing them down immediately when you wake up. Later, translate what you wrote (Burblish net! Oxymoronic swimmers in my soup! My grandfather in a tutu!) Vow not to take Ambien at bedtime anymore.

*Invent a language for your pet newt, including grammar and syntax.

*You own a restaurant on Jupiter. BYOB or no? Explain.

*Kardashians. Explain.

*Imagine that you are, indeed, a Yankee Doodle Dandy.

*Write a synopsis of the last movie you watched on TV after 11 PM. Extra points if you made it past the opening credits.

*Complete this sentence: Charcoal is to seashells, as goose liver is to__________. Elaborate.

*Share a Pulitzer Prize-worthy tale of romance, intrigue, pathos and comedy. (Note: if you can do this, you do NOT need a writing prompt)

Armed with these very helpful prompts, my writer’s block is lifted at last (and so is yours)!! Now it’s just a matter of what tangent to go off on!! You’re very welcome!!