Core Beliefs

 

Photo by Alexander Jawfox on Unsplash

As if life wasn’t complicated enough.

 

Nowadays, it’s not just about the general condition of our homes, yards, and wardrobes; I would describe all of mine—house, lawn, clothes—as “works in (no) progress." We have moved far beyond these trivial concerns, friends. In 2025, it’s all about the aesthetics. 

 

Quick definition first: “aesthetic” is a Greek word, referring to the philosophy of feeling (perceiving) that something is beautiful. Of course, that makes anaesthesia mean "feeling nothing whatsoever." Get it?

 

At some point in the recent past, the fashion and design universe has grabbed hold of the term and run amok with it. Need proof? I was just reading about something called “Mermaidcore,”  which is an “aesthetic” that includes wearing seashell earrings, and hanging living room drapes made of shiny scales (I guess?) Intrigued, I then swam right over to a Wikipedia page listing DOZENS of aesthetics, in helpful alphabetical order. Now I am much better informed, and as a public service, I am passing this wisdom on to you.

 

Herewith, a random selection of aesthetics and what they involve (note: I often joke in this blog. The following are NOT jokes):

 

Appalachian Gothic: foggy mountains with supernatural sightings, flannels, work boots, miners' hats with lamps (again, not joking)

Barbiecore: pink everything (of course), from fingernails to sportscar. 

Beigecore: neutrality is the theme here—an example given is spray-painting your Christmas tree and all the ornaments beige. The Kardashian lifestyle is referenced.

Corporate Grunge: vintage computer graphics, and retro typography. Grainy overlays, a gritty, edgy feel

Mob Wife: leopard print (coats, tops, pants), bright red lipstick and big sunglasses

Industrial Decay: celebrating the beauty of rust, crumbling structures and urban deterioration

Vacation Dad: exactly that—what dads would wear on vacation. Sub-genres include: Disney Dad, Yacht Dad and Grill Guru

 

Although my first reaction was “ok, whatever,” upon further reflection, I kinda like the idea that beauty can be seen in such a wide variety of looks and styles. Art is not just for painters and sculptors. Anyone can BE a work of art, and everyone can (and should be) an art appreciator too. In centuries past, there were generally agreed-upon standards of beauty during different time periods—and outside of those times, deviations seemed not just unfashionable, but ridiculous. Imagine King Tut in a powdered wig, Joan of Arc in a hoop skirt, the Apostles dressed like The Beatles; today, one can see people looking exactly like that in Times Square alone! 

 

Modern aesthetics are so various and fluid that I do wonder what future generations --when, quite possibly, everyone on earth will resemble R2D2--will make of this quirky, lively 21^st century. We defy a general label, that’s for sure, and maybe we’re living in the last gasp of individuality. I sure hope not. In any event, let’s celebrate all of our amazing “cores,” be they Astropunk, Forestgirl or (my fave, for obvious reasons) Grandmacore. 

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So let’s behold it, everywhere.

 

Whimsy and Weirdness

Happy Meatloaf!

Whimsy. Weird. One means light, fun, fanciful. The other means odd, strange, bizarre. I would argue that defining something/someone as “weird” or “whimsical” is super subjective and that, often, they go beautifully together. 

A recent article in the New York Times’ “Well” newsletter supports this assertion. In it, the author lists several qualities of a happy life. #1 is Create weird rituals. The example cited is a behavioral scientist who always places birthday candles in a baked meatloaf before serving it, and has his dinner guests then merrily sing “Happy Meatloaf to You!” I hope he alerts his company to this weird ritual beforehand, because otherwise he might risk eating meatloaf alone for the rest of his life. 

 

Pretending a meatloaf is a chocolate layer cake certainly qualifies as weird—but also whimsical, especially if the scientist insists on everyone wearing little party hats. That is the only weird ritual described in the article, but I’m sure there are tons more. Adults who don bulbous red clown noses when attending church. Job applicants who list “Pig Latin” as their second language. Folks who make their beds on the floor, and use their actual beds as nightstands. Families who enjoy barking and chasing cars in the neighborhood. Be honest, don’t you do some of these yourself? I know I do!  And they (the church clown nose and the car-chasing) definitely boost my happiness, even as they deeply trouble my neighbors. 

 

The same day I read the Happy Life article, I stumbled upon a TikTok comment thread replying to a TikTokian request for “silly, fun things you say and do!” Well, talk about whimsical AND weird! Someone says she’ll only criticize herself using a Cockney accent. Another, having made a mess, responds by muttering "and...scene!” as if she’s directing a movie starring a clumsy goofball. Ordering an item for yourself from Amazon and filling in “is this a gift?” with the message: “I deserve a little treat!” Telling your pet hamster not to answer the door while you’re away. 

 

Aren’t these adorable? I mean, I wouldn’t go as far as telling my unwashed dishes “it’s bath time!” but that’s only because Steve does all the dishes in our house. And I don’t say “thanks—good to know!” when Siri responds, but that’s only because I have no idea how to use Siri. Otherwise, they’re solid suggestions, sure to gain me a wide reputation for being madcap.

 

However, just because one CAN be weird and whimsical, doesn’t mean it’s always a good idea. Would you trust an offbeat (get it?) police officer (“I have you clocked going 450 miles per hour! Or maybe my clock is broken! Haha!”)? How about choosing a funeral director (“We thought Grandma would look better wearing ‘fake glasses and mustache’ at her viewing!”)?

 

I guess it’s really only safe to be a W and W sort if you're a comedian, or you don’t mind if your friends think you’re crazy. 

 

Luckily, I qualify on both counts. 

don't we all?

Lemonading

 

Rose and her friend Hannah (and tiny Julie) back in the day

 

What can I say about lemons?

 

One (spelled Lemmon) was a fine actor.

Lululemon is an activewear brand that I’d wear (if I was ever active).

Then there’s my orange Gremlin (first car--a total lemon, its color notwithstanding)

I used to think that putting lemon juice on my face would help get rid of my freckles. Nope!

Lemons perk up the flavor of fish, and make a dandy meringue pie as well.

I know someone who has a lemon tree in their house that actually produces lemons.

I also know that Peter, Paul and Mary had a hit song about a lemon tree. Not my friend’s lemon tree, though. Another one.

 

Then there’s the sage advice: “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.”

 

I admit, I struggle with that suggestion. I mean, wouldn’t it make more sense to just give those lemons right back to life? “No thanks, and please don’t hand me any more of these. I’ll take some Godiva chocolates though, or some pricey jewelry—as long as you’re handing me stuff.”

 

But no. Apparently THOSE lemons are non-returnables, and I am now supposed to do something wonderful with them. Which is sometimes possible, but often not really. How to make lemonade out of your dire medical diagnosis, or a death in the family? Don’t have that recipe, alas. You’re fired from your job a week before you can receive retirement benefits? Wait a sec—let me whip up some tasty lemony beverage and we’ll toast that incorrigible ex-boss of yours!

 

I realize that it’s the attitude adjustment that is the point. Such as: always look on the bright side/it could be worse/at least you still have (fill in the blank). Chin up, cheer up, turn that frown upside down!

 

Here’s the problem, though. My personal attitude doesn’t adjust all that well. When things are horrible, they just ARE, and I feel horrible about those horrible things. Why is that so…horrible? For instance, while I try to find a silver lining in my bipolar disorder, a lot of the time I just hate that I have it. It is not a “blessing,” in or out of disguise. When I give myself permission to grieve about my mental illness, paradoxically, I usually feel much better. 

 

Toxic positivity is real. It’s born of society’s unwillingness to deal with pain, an inability to empathize. Far better to live in La La Land (the magical place where everyone covers their ears and sings “lalala” to drown out sadness and difficulty). And honestly? I think it’s a reason we’re in such a pickle right now—too many just refuse to see our country falling apart (making it tough to do anything about it). 

 

My sage advice? The next time life hands you a lemon, recognize it for the sour tasting thing it is. Cry if you need to. Feel those sad feelings. They are the beginning of wisdom, and compassion. And they will make the better times ahead, all the sweeter. 

 

Promise.